Questions and Answers

There are some events in life which can never be repeated or should only be repeated in the most pleasant of dreams.  Such an event, the memorial for Julian Samuel Stein, Jr., began at a few minutes after 4 PM, October 6^th, 2012 at the Maryland Historical Society one week ago today.

The auditorium of the society was almost filled as Vishwa and I walked in. We were ready to join the SRO corps that would undoubtedly soon form.  It was like entering the Metropolitan Opera at the final performance of the most highly revered tenor in the world and all seats were taken.   Luckily we saw our friend Betsy, Julian’s partner, near the front of the auditorium and as we wanted to be sure to greet her with loving hugs before the program began, we pushed our way through the not yet seated crowd.

We found Betsy and hugged, all of us a bit teary-eyed.  She sensed we were looking for seats and there, three seats down from where she was sitting in the front row were four empty chairs next to two of her close friends.

“Are two of these taken?” I asked.  “No, “ replied Betsy’s friend.

There we were in the front row for the event of a lifetime to hear about the events of a lifetime!

A copy of the printed program, handed to me by one of Julian’s daughters, will occupy a hallowed place in my GertrudeandAlice collection.

Each of Julian’s eight children spoke first, recalling love filled memories of someone who had lived a long life, but should still have been there, smiling and hugging and just being Dad! Then came a who’s who of friends beginning with Jim Lehrer, looking much happier to be amongst this august crowd than the one at the first presidential debate he’d hosted only a few days earlier. He recalled the friendships between his daughter and the Stein siblings which formed a bond between the families.

There were tales of old yellow Mustangs, Julian carried piggyback during the search for a hidden waterfall in Maine, skinny-dipping escapades, a NYC taxi “adventure” with an African visitor in full tribal regalia (“You’re not Mrs. Stein!”) and Julian’s fondness for all things religious–NOT!!!–, forays with the political elite, Mad Men-era PR campaigns, mentoring, mentoring and more mentoring  and on and on! (Sorry about all of the exclamation points. I know most of  my creative writing teachers would not approve, but I can’t help it!)

Then anyone else who wanted to say a few words spoke.  Julian, who would read picture books to young children as part of Baltimore’s Experience Corps program, was thanked by one of the teachers whose classroom he visited regularly.  In a waivering voice, she began –“I’m more used to speaking to 5 year olds than to  a group like this.”

I got up too and in a quivering voice began. “Most of you probably have absolutely no idea who I am.”  Then I introduced myself as one of the newest members of the Julian Stein Fan Club. I mentioned my GertrudeandAlice collection and told about my tour  with Julian of the Steins Collect exhibition last summer in San Francisco, looking at paintings and furniture he had seen more than eighty years earlier at cousin Gertrude’s place at 27, rue de Fleurus and at the home of Baltimore’s Cone sisters.

Despite a few choked-up voices and some tears, it was an extraordinarily joyous event much like the classic Dean Martin roasts that appeared on television from time to time – not the cable TV versions that have now become more smutfest than comedy tribute.

Julian’s “Roast” would have featured George Burns, Gracie Allen, Jack Benny, Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Lucille Ball, Carol Burnett, and Mae West, had she been able to waddle up to the podium. Publisher Bennett Cerf would probably also be there, as well as a politician or two, but only those with real senses of humor and not just laughs for laughs sake on the campaign trail.

[Note: I apologize to younger readers and readers of this post in other countries if many of these celebrity names may be unfamiliar.  They certainly show my age.  However, only the classic personalities of the last 80 years, would have been appropriate to have honored this classic, funny man.]

As many said during the program and at the impressive reception following it: “This is what a memorial event should be like and I only wish mine will be similar!”  That may be very wishful thinking on all of our parts as there will never be another Julian S. Stein!

Thanks to Julian’s family for letting us join this incredible celebration of this loved, loving, laughing man who will never to be forgotten.

And as cousin Gertrude once said, which has LOTS of relevance for this one-of-a-kind event and  one-of-a-kind Julian, and has something to say about each of us and the one-of-a-kind lives we continue to live:

“The minute you or anybody else

knows what you are you are not it,

you are what you or anybody else

knows you are and as everything

in living is made up of finding out

what you are it is extraordinarily

difficult really not to know what

you are and yet to be that thing.”

– Gertrude Stein

Part III of excerpts from Julian’s memoirs will be posted soon.

Tagged Bob Hope, Cone sisters, Dean Martin, Geirge Burns and Gracie Allen, Gertrude Stein, Jim Lehrer. 27 rue de Fleurus, Julian Stein, Maryland Historical Society, Phyllis Diller